Questions?

If you have questions about anything, I have the answers. So just submit a comment with your question and I'll answer it. Do it now before CERN decides to destroy the world once and for all.

Hate Mail

Check out this awesome new hate mail. My response is below.

Jesus H. Christ scootering is just a way too get around. You take yourselves to seriously. Hey, how about this --- enlist in the Army and fight a real battle. You're a bunch of adolescent winking schmucks who have nothing better to do than imagine yourselves as soldiers. How fierce of you. Holy cow get a life.

I thought when they said "don't ask don't tell" it meant you don't have to scream it from the top of a building man. I'm happy that you are comfortable with your sexuality (more power to you) but I don't go around telling everyone that I am married to a woman...but hey it's legal to get married to a man here in California now so bring your boyfriend and your scoot and let's ride! If your lucky i'll show you how to do and burnout or maybe even launch a curb or something totally gnarly maybe then you'll understand that everyday on the slab is a battle. Good day to you captain cornhole...I mean Pondca.

We tru Soldiers we don die...we multiply!!

SL

Hater comment of the month

So...it's been awhile since i've posted and that is completely my fault. Things have been gnarly out there on the slab. Haterz been hating and I can't help but laugh. I have some posts i'm working on right now cause there has been some mods on my scoot i've been working on. Anyways check this comment out, this dood is so awesome he wouldn't even leave his name. So i'm sorry whoever you are...i'm straight..I don't want to hang with you and i need your number. I respect your choice and hope you find happiness. I am sorry that you think the lx150 is 3 times the scoot the vino is. Best of luck to you. Here is this totally awesome comment

"Hey Homo! That LX150 is three times the scooter of that Vino! It's one thing to like what you have, but its pure idiocy and egotistical ignorance to compare the Vino as a superior piece of machinery to the LX150. The only thing it beats it in is price. And like the old adage says: You get what you pay for."

Keep it real on the street kid...if you are ever in my area of the country come on over and i'll do a burnout on on your lx150 with my vino.

Off Scooter Training

Here's a quick clip of some off scooter training. More clips coming from the slab soon!

Vino 125 Oil Change

I hope this little video will help some of you out there with doing a quick oil change. this is the first of many videos that I am working on. Let me know what you think soldiers.

SL

Rag 500

Rag 500 (the importance and the power of your Rag)

It is time to finally move into the Master’s portion of the class. To truly become a master there are some things that you need understand. In this class, Rag 500, we will be talking about the importance of the Rag and the power your Rag can bring you. For those of you who haven’t been to the glossary or haven't been late to class before; the Rag is your bandanna.

The Rag has several uses that can help enhance your scooting experience. The most important use of the Rag for me personally is to protect my face and neck. I run with an open face helmet so I use the Rag to ward off bugs, sand and small pebbles. The Rag is especially good for wiping your goggles down when they fog up or get some road grime on them. The uses of the Rag are endless. I’m sure there are plenty of you out there that have uses that I haven’t even thought of yet. The power of the Rag is immense. The Rag is a huge factor in your own personal steez. You will learn in the upcoming classes how to properly fold the Rag for facial protection and how to use it for the ever popular dangler.

Remember soldier's rags come in different sizes and colors. This is especially important for defining your own steez on the slab. So go out and get yourself a Rag. Start practicing before we get into the steez portion of the class. Practice makes perfect!


Feel free to donate to the right. We in the works of creating Soldiers of the Slab Rags. They are pretty costly so please help out! More info will be posted about this in the future.

Keep it STREET!!

SL

Stories from the Slab #1

First off I want to apologize to the class for being slow in getting
Classes posted. There have been a few things out of my control keeping me from posting more often. With that said, I wanted to post a pic real quick and tell an amazing story from the slab yesterday.

Just when you thought scooting couldn't get anymore awesome, I find out that you can get a surf rack that mounts on your scoot. So far I have hit a top speed of 55 mph with the board on the side. No issues what so ever. The company that makes this rack is Carver Surf Racks from Hawaii. The quality of this product is amazing. I would like to add I have one of their racks for my beach cruiser also and it is amazing as well. So if you live near the beach and surf, I recommend that you go out and get one of these racks!


The new topic I would like to start adding to the slab every week or so is Stories from the Slab. This will be a piece where all of you other soldiers will get to share your stories. Send me an email and I will make sure it gets posted up on the slab for the world to see. Please send all stories to scootlord@gmail.com.

Stories from the Slab

It was your typical Monday morning commute. Driving down Pacific Coast Highway, wishing I was paddling out to shred and not going to slave away behind a desk. Anyways, I had the Invader's playing in my ears just enjoying my daily combat commute. Now everyday is a battle on the slab, however, this one was a little different.
I was sitting at a red light just before Cardiff Reef. Normally I am super pumped to be here so I can peep on the waves, Cardiff is a great place to surf. So I am sitting there minding my own business waiting for the light to turn green. Next thing I know I feel like I have just been punched in the shoulder and my left side mirror was smashed. As I look up in disbelief I noticed the guy in the Toyota 4-Runner giving me the F@*# You arm-wave and flipping me off as he floors it. I'm no Master of Manners, but it seems to me that when you hit someone you probably don't want to run from the scene of the crime...not spew swear words at them...and not throw up signs. Oh, and maybe make sure the person is alright. Now I've had a few run ins before, but nothing like this. The little guy took off thinking he could out run the scoot. I think he forgot that we live in Southern California where traffic is still king. I caught up to him. Needless to say I was a little angry but I knew I had to represent for all the soldiers out there. I pulled up to his passenger window and proceeded to punch it as hard as I could. Maybe I need to work out a little more, as I was unable to break the window. I did manage to throw in a few "choice" words while telling him to get out of the car or pull over. In the mean time I had managed to back-up traffic in the right lane. He tried to figure out how to do speeds to get away from me but the slab wasn't going to let him. I finally figured out that it must have been a truly amazing sight to watch a guy on the transportation of master's trying to fight someone on the slab. I decided in the end that it was best that I get my commute back under way before the roller's caught wind of this little run in with a cager.

I probably didn't handle this situation in the best possible manner however I did keep it street. I did everything I could to represent to the fullest. Remember Soldiers to make sure and stay on point on the slab. I don't want to have any stories coming in about fallen soldiers. Keep it street and stay on 2!

SL

Glossary of terms


There have been several requests for a glossary of terms. I have made a valiant attempt to list the terms in alphabetical order, but I’m no English major, so give me a break. Please feel free to request other terms to be posted along with this. Notice the pic of me doing scientific equations to make sure the knowledge is posted properly.

GLOSSARY

Boss

The act of shutting down fools on the street.  "I just BOSSED that fool"

Burn Out
The act of smoking out and melting your rear tire to the slab to show how awesome you are.

Cager
Someone driving a 4-wheeled vehicle.

Chine
Comes from the word machine; meaning it looks awesome

Combat Commute
Rush hour traffic; requires a soldier to be on point (see “on point” below).

Dangler
Bandanna; Tied to belt loop or around the belt. This method is normally preformed during easy rides (see “easy riding” below).

Dirty Bird
Danglin your left arm to the side while tucked.  This is act is done to completely disrespect and individual or a cager. 

Easy Riding
Easy rides are group rides consisting of 2 or more soldiers.

Haterz
People that don't understand the scoot lifestyle.

Holiday
Everyday on a Scoot is a Holiday.

Keep it on 2
Keep Scooting.

Keep it street
Keep it real

Mad Speeds
Going really fast.

Master of the Scooterverse
Scoot Lord.

MLS
Marine Style Lane Split.  Splitting lanes as fast as you possibly can ride. (I MLS'd the entire 101 today cause traffic sucked so hard)

Mod
Scenester-hipster; Rides a scooter to been scene not for love.

Modding
Mods in the works; Mods not yet complete.

Mods
Modification made to a scooter. Often confused with scenesters so make sure you specify or use in the correct context. (Mods made on the scoot).

Mongoose
Cop, Police, Roller.

Natcho
The environmental scooterist, rides for the amazing mpg’s and low emissions.

On point
Full attention on the slab, always aware of your surroundings.

Pimp Swerve
A person on a non motorized vehicle or on foot that literally waits to run across the street in front of you cause you to swerve a pimp.  Some areas are more prone to this action (north oceanside)

Rag
Bandanna; Worn on the face to protect from the elements as well as for steez.

Represent(ing)
Letting people know where you are from, who you roll with and how you roll.

Rolled
The act of someone rolling on you (you just got rolled on fool hahaha) disrespected; being pulled over by a cop (you’ve been rolled on by that roller).

Roller(s)
Cops, Police.

Rolling
The act of driving by someone and letting them know you own the slab, basically just driving by someone preferably at a slow speed. (Visual drive by; yo…I’m gonna roll on that fool).

Scoot Lord
Commander of the Slab Soldiers; Self-proclaimed Master of the Scooterverse.

Scooter
Scoot, transportation of the master’s, often referred as the most intelligent form of transportation on the planet.

Scooterist
Anyone who rides a scooter, could be a mod, tron or soldier. Either way it’s obvious that they understand how awesome scooters really are.

Scooterverse
The entire universe revolves around the scooting lifestyle.

Scenester
Someone who is all about being a part of the scene…trying too hard.

Skeez
Same as steez, what people from Indiana call steez.

Skidz
Slamming on the brakes to stop. (See Skidmark Scooter Gang).

Skidmark Scooter Gang
Inspirational Scooter gang; known to have the longest skid ever recorded on video.

Slab
The streets; Road; Highway.

Soldier
Rides a scooter for love, lives and dies by the slab. Soldiers ride in any weather. The slab belongs to the soldiers.

Soldiers of the Slab
An international scooter organization with one goal in mind “world domination by scooter”.

Speeds
Going fast.

Spray
The act of spraying gravel with your rear tire, sometimes confused with a burnout.

Steez
Style. Steez is almost as important as having an actual scooter. It is what defines you on the Slab.

That’s how I roll
This is what I do. Basically you have no real explanation for what you do so you answer (That’s how I roll).

Torched
After a long day of scooting with out protection from the sun, another reason to always have a rag on.

Tron
These guys love futuristic scooters, wish they had crotch rockets and they love space.

Wheelie
Possibly the greatest stunt of all time. When you take off so fast that your front wheel lifts off the ground and you ride only on your rear tire.

Wrenching
Working on the scoot; doing regular maintenance on the scoot.

Josh Taylor R.I.P.

My heart is heavy. A soldier has fallen. Josh Taylor passed on from this earth 6-17-2007. Josh was my friend, my brother, my family. His spirit will live on through the birth of his baby boy this October. Even though Josh was not a scooterist, he was a man who represented the true meaning of a soldier. He lived life like no one I have ever known. You couldn't help but smile when he walked into a room. His smile and laugh were infectious. Josh was a true soldier of the slab. He and another great man, Toby Reed, rode bikes across the country from Seattle, Washington to Bar Harbor, Maine. 3,900 miles in 44 days all in the name of raising money for the Starr Commonwealth Organization. An organization almost as great as this man, dedicated to building positive relationships for troubled youth. Josh, watch over us and help keep us safe on the slab that you knew all too well. Just know I will be holding it down for you here as will all of the other soldiers. Until we ride again my brother...Keep it on 2!


Love and Miss you Always,

SL

Reporting from the Slab

In a little over a month The Soldiers of the Slab has seen well over a 1000 unique visitors from over 16 countries worldwide. The slab seems to be well on its way of achieving global domination by scooter. I personally wanted to thank you soldiers out there for keeping it street at all times. I also wanted to let you all know that things are only going to get better now that we have groups like the Rumblebeez and the Skidmarks affiliated with the Soldiers the future looks bright. So keep checking back for more classes and please keep commenting on them or requesting topics that you would like to see us touch base on. Don't forget that the forum is open and ready for more in depth discussing. I look forward to the day where we all we ride together on the slab.

Stay on 2!

SL

Skidmarks the Spot!

Below are some videos from our brothers up north "Skidmark Scooter Gang". These guys are really holding it down up there. Not only are they true soldiers of the slab they are owning the slab! I am being serious class, take notes! these guys are true masters of the craft. We all could stand to learn a little from these guys. Skidmarks...you reign supreme in Norcal...we are proud of you for keeping it street.

SL

http://www.skidmarkscooters.com/

Modding 321

Modding 321 (the importance of modding)

Modding (Modifications) is an essential part of scooting. For some people this is the reason why they scoot. For other’s it is a way to show how steezy you can be or basically just how awesome you are. Over the new couple weeks I will break down on how to mod out a Yamaha Vino 125. These mods may pertain to all other types of scoots as well but these mods are just things I have done to my own scoot or are in the process of doing. I will not take responsibility for mods gone wrong or if you suck at modding. So…mod at your own discretion!

Some of the things you need to take into consideration is what you want to get out of your mod. Some people want the steez of going with a custom look, or maybe its mad speeds you want. These are the things you have to put thought into. Luckily I have the Vino 125 and there are several things out there that can do to that particular model out there. I will be talking about mods that can increase the mpg’s of the vino, custom look...including the paint and last but not least mad speeds!

Be patient soldiers I have been busy ruling the slab lately as well as trying to make sure I can bring the best possible information to class. So until then…Keep it STREET!!!

Haters

Seems like we are starting to get some hater's to come to the site. That's awesome! Let the haters hate cause I will roll on them. Real soldiers they don't die! Soldiers keep it street and they can actually read. What I mean is the haters must not have read what I wrote; "in the end it doesn't matter what you do as long as you ride on 2." So, keep hating cause the Slab belongs to the SOLDIERS!!!

As far as class goes I am waiting to hear back from someone making sure I can use their name in some of the up coming classes. So...stay tuned soldiers until then keep it on 2 and let the haters hate cause the streets don't lie and real soldiers don't die!!

Scooter 232

Understanding Scoot Culture

Scooter culture is the foundation for all Scooterists. I think you know before you actually buy a Scoot which bracket of the Sub-Culture you are going to fit into. Now, I am not trying to label people and this particular course is strictly based upon my own views and opinions. In no way am I trying to create a rift between the different groups because in the end we all ride on 2 and that’s what matters most. There are 4 basic groups in the scootering world. MODS, TRONS, NATCHOS and SOLDIERS. I will be analyzing each of these groups in a short synopsis for this class. So here we go.

MODS

Mods originated back in the late 50’s as a subculture group in the UK. We all know them today as hipsters or scenesters. This group of scooterist can generally be found riding on vintage Vespas and from my experience tend to be a little snooty in their demeanor. In a nutshell these are the BMW drivers of the scooter world. Yes, everyone can see that you are driving a Vespa and we really don’t care. Just because my scoot starts EVERYtime and doesn’t fall apart doesn’t mean I am any less of a scooterist. Mods also tend to ride scooters solely for image purposes. If it were more scene to roll on a Segway than you would see them on a Segway instead. Now this title doesn’t apply to all Vespa riders, so don’t take offensive to this if you don’t feel you fall into this category. Much respect definitely goes out to Vespa. Scooting would not be where it is today if it weren’t for Vespa.

TRONS

Trons are a force to be reckoned with. This group of scooterist seems to be growing at a rate the rest of us can’t keep up with. Due largely to the vast number of Chinese clone scooters out there that are available at your local hardware store and/or auto parts dealer. These scooters look very futuristic and almost like spaceships. Sorry, but I have an issue with space so that doesn’t help my opinion of the Tron Scooters out there. Trons love the fact that they have mini crotch rockets, so the steez factor they bring kind of sucks. Yes, they are scooters and any scooter is a good scooter so I really can’t hate too much.

NATCHOS (pronounced like nature but instead of ure it’s chos so it’s natchos)

Natchos are a great group of scooterist. Generally they are super stoked to be doing their part by getting 80 mpg’s and saving loads of money in the process. These guys tend to ride every type of scoot and put more of an emphasis on safety and environmental sustainability then steez. I agree with their thought process and encourage everyone to have a little bit of natcho inside of you. Scooting as a Natcho demands respect from all different sects in the scooter world and I highly approve of them.

SOLDIERS

Being in the Serpents Scooter Gang we are brought up to understand the concept of being a Soldier of the Slab. We live and die on the slab. We ride because it’s either ride or die. Scooting is a lifestyle decision and we have made it. We don’t ride to be seen, it is what we were born to do. We don’t let the type of scoot decide how we roll cause we roll on 2! It’s not easy being a serpent of the street, we are constantly battling for our spot on the slab and in a world where cagers reign supreme we need to fight. Soldiers have to face the up hill struggle in our daily combat commute. Keep it street Serpents and the slab with look out for you.

I said it once before and I’ll say it again. A scooter is a scooter…show respect…wave at your fellow scooterist…in the end we are all Soldiers of the Slab!

The forum is up and running!

On the right side of the page is a direct link to the new official forum for class. This is a way for everyone to participate more in detail and create a better interaction within the classes. So go check it out and post your questions or stories about scooting!

OFFICIAL SERPENT FORUM

Scooter 201

I won't hate or discriminate but from now on I will only be using the Yamaha Vino 125 as the scoot of reference in class. Sorry to those of you out there who have something other than a Vino, but I won't have enough time in the day to be a soldier of the slab if I have to refer to all different types of scoots.

LEARNING HOW TO ROLL ON 2

So, you have purchased your scoot or maybe just got your hands on one somehow someway. The first thing you need to do is learn how to ride it. It's really not that hard. If you can ride a bike, you can ride a scoot. The key to riding a scoot is to be confident. You must feel like you own the road. That is something you will learn in time as well while you work your way up the ranks in the Serpents. Getting back to rolling on 2. You need to make sure you do things like be safe and awesome at the same time. Another recommendation I have is to go take a motorcycle safety course. I don't think there is a scooter safety course out there just yet, but we might have to work on that. Below I am going to post a few tips that I have found to be priceless for being a better scooterist.

DO MAD SPEEDS (try to always stay ahead of traffic)

BE SEEN (ride with your high beams on; make it known you are the the road)

DRIVE 100-200 YARDS AHEAD (always look ahead to see what is going on)

ALWAYS THINK THAT CAGERS(cars) ARE OUT TO GET YOU (remember scoots are smaller than cars so you must drive offensively and be defensive at all times, protect that piece of the slab you roll on)

REMEMBER...you are on a scoot and everyday on a scoot is holiday

In the end there is only one way to be a better scooterist and that is to practice.

So get out there and start Rollin on 2!

Welcome back and first question of the class

Welcome back class. I hope everyone had a great Holiday, I know I did. I rolled on a few people did some burnout's, you know nothing out of the ordinary. I decided I would start off each week with a question. I am going to encourage everyone's participation. The poll is located on the right side of the blog. Please participate! Also, if you have comments you would like to add please do so below in the comments area. So, now for the question.

I have been asked this question a lot lately and feel it should be addressed before we move forward with class.


Is two dudes on a scoot cool or gay?

My answer to this question is...It's totally AWESOME! It doesn't matter how you Scoot, it's that you're Scooting. Scooting with a dude on the back or a babe it doesn't matter, you're Scooting! Scooting is a way of life and part of that is getting more people to Scoot. Most people start their scooting experience with hopping on the back of someone else's Scoot. I want people to remember scooting is the way of the future the more people we have scooting the better. Make sure you take in account the need to provide your buddy with proper safety equipment, a helmet and of course a spare rag. I have found it important to always have a spare rag in your storage compartment, that however will be discussed in more detail in Rag 500. Please stay tuned for Scooter 201 which should start tomorrow and make sure you take the poll on this topic.

Scooter 103

So, you have made the decision to get your hands on the most intelligent form of transportation on the road. This decision is HUGE!! Picking the right scoot can make or break how steezy or sleezy you really will be. In this class I will break down the major categories of scoots and all the major points you will need to invest in your future. There are certain aspects of each category that make the scooting experience unique. I hope that you find the information to be both educational and informative. I would also like to preface this information by informing you that I do have a bias opinion in the selection process due to aspirations of being endorsed by Yamaha Motors. However, I will do my best to control this and provide you with the unbiased information you need to find the scoot that will best suit your needs.

Scooters range from 2 wheel and 3 wheel vehicles.

The breakdown will be as follows:

Scooters (50-200cc engines)
Maxi Scooters (250cc-upwards)

Maxi Scooters
I will not spend any time on Maxi Scooters. I personally feel that they do not represent the scooter lifestyle and if this styling of scooter interests you, you might as well just go buy a motorcycle. They tend to look like spaceships, or are basically the same size or even bigger than most motorcycles. Posture on Maxi scooters does not follow standard protocol for proper scooting techniques. So, let’s move on from these waste of time, sorry excuse for a scooter contraption.

Scooters
Scooters come in tons of different shapes, sizes, and engine displacements. I will concentrate mostly on the major brands and in the 100cc plus range of engines. The reason why is smaller scooters, such as those in the 50cc range, which are really fun and totally acceptable, don’t really accommodate the daily scooterist in a commuting/ruling atmosphere.

Brands
Vespa (piaggio)
Lambretta
Bajaj
Yamaha
Honda
Kymco
Genuine (buddy)

These are the most widely accepted brands of scooters. There are many other brands out there, mainly Chinese clones, and I really wouldn’t recommend them due to quality issues. However, I have no experience with them so I couldn’t bring forth an educated reason for why they suck. In the end a scooter is a scooter and as long as you are rolling on 2 that’s all the matters.

Vintage vs. Modern
There is something to be said about vintage scooters. They are timeless machines that only get better looking with age. However, they might not be the most efficient and environmentally friendly vehicles on the road. Personally I don’t have a vintage scoot, mainly due to the cost of keeping them running as well as the negative environmental impact they have. I have chosen to go with the Yamaha Vino 125, which in my opinion, has stayed more with the classic styling of the scoot rather than most other brands out there. Modern scoots range from about 2,000-6,000 dollars. Insurance costs are significantly cheaper than that of automobiles and usually get anywhere from 70-100 mpg’s. Remember, you need to get a scoot that you are going to feel comfortable on.

Please submit comments, questions, or concerns in the comment section below and I will address them as we go along. Also, if there are any particular courses you would like me to expand on, or new class topics you would like to see, please let me know.

Cheers,

SL

Scooter 101

Welcome to the first day of class everyone. This is the beginning of the future for most of you. This is probably going to be the shortest of the classes in the curriculum. Before the Serpents there really isn't much to speak about regarding scooting. However, I promised to bring forth the best knowledge possible so I guess I will. The following is a collection of information that I found from several different websites. So here it is. I really want to get the nuts and bolts of the course out of the way so we can focus more on the 3 S's...Steez, Stuntz, and Speedz. Feel free to comment.

Scooters trace their ancestry back to France with the Auto-Fauteuil mark in 1902. The Vespa, originally manufactured by Piaggio in post-WWII Italy, quickly popularized motor scooters. Despite Vespa's dominance of the scooter market, they were not without competition. Lambretta offered models that rivaled those in the Vespa product line. In the 1980s new versions of scooters began to be released and become popular, especially in Japan and Far-East Asia. The classic styling of the Vespa remains the most popular and most imitated scooter design. Almost all manufacturers now carry both a classic/retro model and a spacy/modern model.

Course syllabus

I have been giving it some thought, with this whole enlightenment process. I have decided that course break down will be as followed.

General Education classes:

Scooter 101 (a brief overview of scootering)
Scooter 103 (picking the right vehicle for you)
Scooter 201 (learning how to roll on 2)
Scooter 232 (understanding scoot culture)

Core Classes:

Modding 321 (the importance of modding)
Modding 323 (how to mod your scoot)
Modding 325 (what mods are right for you and your scoot)
Maintenance 427 (how to care for your scoot)
Awesome 461 (totally awesome but unnecessary stuff to do with your scoot)


Mastering techniques

Rag 500 (the importance and power of your rag)
Rag 501 (how to protect your face with your rag)
Rag 502 (turning your rag into a dangler)
Steez 600 (what is steez, understanding steez and it's power)
Steez 620 (tying all your knowledge of steez together to create your own steez)
Rolling 647 (rolling on someone;how it feels like to be rolled on)
Rolling 659 (how to successfully roll on someone)
Tunes 665 (tunes and scooting is it right for you?)
Tunes 666 (selecting the right tunes for your scoot)
Stuntz 701 (definitions of stuntz and history of stuntz)
Stuntz 705 (how to do totally awesome stuntz and not die)
Stuntz 711 (how to create your own signature stunt)

Capstone course (overall review)

Congratulation's at this point in time you may be ready to become a Soldier The Soldiers of the Slab Scooter Gang.

The next step you take is to present yourself and the skills you have learned to the high counsel of The Serpents Scoot Gang.

See you in class

KEEP IT STREET AND ROLL ON 2!

Scoot Lord
Commander of the Soldiers of the Slab Scooter Gang